Those who follow me on social media may have spotted that I have been a little “out of sorts” lately.
I have had (well, still do) have a lot going on – and my mind has become a little overwhelmed. I have even contemplated giving up this business, winding up the studio… (don’t worry – it hasn’t come to that).
I am still dealing with a lot (perhaps I’ll explain more about that one day) – and business is hard for everyone (again – not a tale for now) but, recently, I have realised that creating is really important to me – and part of the reason I wasn’t feeling the love for it was that I wasn’t allowing myself enough time for it.
Enough time to play, rest, not just be creative – but think creatively. My mind had become so full, so busy – that the creative ideas just couldn’t get out.
But this weekend, I have had one of the most productive couple of days I have had in a very long time.
Although I hadn’t planned to be this productive – it was planned. Sort of.
For those that don’t know I have a day job – and, although I can, obviously create in the evenings – lately I just haven’t had the energy or motivation to do so. Weekends have been that time.
More recently I’ve struggled to get going though – even on weekends. There always seems to be something more important to do. (Or I just needed to sleep).
But the weekends not doing studio work were not wasted – I spent a lot of time thinking (going back to giving it all up) – and what has become clear is that I really miss the studio time. Creating is important to me. Really important – it’s part of who I am.
Painting, drawing, making things – I have always done it. Without it there is definitely something missing.
I knew I needed to make space in my head. So, this weekend, I didn’t plan anything. In fact – I turned down several invitations to do things. Things that I know I would have enjoyed.
Initially I thought I was letting people down – but if I had done them, I would be letting myself down – and I realised it’s about time I did something for me.
So – a free weekend. No plans. No pressure. I picked up pencils and paintbrushes. I pained for fun. As I started one thing (tiny toadstoools…) ideas started to form in my head – and I followed them, alongside the toadstools, bookmarks and notebooks appeared.
I have no idea whether anyone else will like these creations. I didn’t create them to sell – I created them because that is what my heart wanted me to do. And I am pretty sure that if I like them – someone out there will too. But even if they don’t – well, I have myself a new notebook!
The best things is – it’s a bank holiday weekend here – so I have an extra day to do nothing again tomorrow. I don’t know if I will spend it painting – I might go for coffee. I might even take my sketchbook with me…. I am not planning anything – I am going to go with the flow.. it will point me in the right direction.
